Bedouin hospitality: a lesson for us all

An encounter with the Bedu of Oman
I’ve just returned from a trip to the Middle East. I’ve learned so many new things and enjoyed so many incredible experiences, that I’m going to be kept busy for many weeks assimilating all the information.

One of the activities I’d organised in advance of my visit to Oman was an overnight stay in the vast sand dunes of Wahiba, which included an encounter with the Bedu, one of the oldest tribal peoples of the world.

Tracing their ancestry from mythical Kahtan (Yoktan) of Yemen, identified in the Old Testament as a descendant of Noah, these tribesmen of southern Arabia continue to live a nomadic life, albeit today, as I discovered to my surprise, in the Wahiba Sands at least, with the aid of such 21st century accoutrements as mobile phones and 4WD vehicles alongside their camels and traditional woollen tents. Apparently in some areas of ‘The Empty Quarter’ of the Arabian peninsula camels do still remain the only feasible form of transport, mainly because of the lack of petrol stations for refuelling vehicles!

More information about Oman.

Lessons in self sufficiency
‘Leave only footprints’ could be a slogan invented by the Bedu, such is their commitment to self sufficiency, honed over centuries. The desert is too sterile for them to remain in one place for any length of time, and they have no permanent settlements to this day, although some leave the desert to work in local towns. They mostly still live off the products of their animals, which  consist of camels, sheep and goats, drinking their milk, weaving the hair or wool into cloth, and tents for shelter, making leather from the skins and eating the flesh, supplemented with dates from desert oases.

For a long time the Bedu had no need to use money, since all trade with others and the outside world was conducted entirely by bartering. That’s one thing I’ve already  have in common with the Bedu, since I already belong to a local barter group and use bartering to swap surplus produce. 

Is tourism an intrusion?
The Bedu have adapted to tourism in the desert without compromising their way of life. They’ve successfully managed to capitalise on new opportunities to generate revenue now coming their way, and I was interested to see how they’ve done this.

In the encampment to which our guide took us, one of the Bedu women was using her ability to capture snakes and scorpions on a daily basis. She puts them on display in jars to show visitors, before releasing them without harm back into the desert again at night. The Bedu have also cottoned on to the idea that some of the hand made textiles they weave can be made into articles for purchase by visitors as a souvenir.  Of which more later. Visitors are also offered a camel ride for 3 Omani rials (approxinmately £6) per head.

A tradition of hospitality
Hospitality is an essential part of Bedouin life and forms part of their code of honour to offer strangers protection in a world fraught with danger. Meetings were originally seen as an opportunity to exchange news with others, and guests are always therefore genuinely welcomed. It is necessary and expected that visitors take off their shoes when entering a tent.

No English is spoken. We were accompanied by a guide who explained everything to us; but everyone can also communicate by gesture and expression. It’s also worth mentioning that the Bedu women do not like to be photographed.

Every guest is offered small saucerless cups of sweet black coffee and dates from a dish, which it is impolite to refuse. After one cup it is acceptable to refuse anything further by twisting your wrist to shake the empty cup slightly up and down from side to side.

More information about the Bedouin way of life

How everyone benefits
Today’s visitors are more than a matter of curiosity for the Bedu. Although there’s a genuine welcome, as our Guide explained, in exchange for the entertainment value (for women) of being dressed up as a Bedouin, the possibility of seeing some snakes or scorpions, and the refreshments, (for which no money changes hands), there’s an expectation that visitors will give something back in exchange, which is absolutely fair. After all, the Bedu have need of hard cash if they’re to run 21st century cars and mobile phones!

In my own case, I’d previously experienced a camel ride, so I was more interested in the shopping opportunities. I very much liked some of the cushions on offer; but bearing in mind the space restrictions of my suitcase, I settled in the end for a colourful hand woven wool spectacle case for recently acquired reading glasses. One that no-one else is likely to have, and something I’ll find hard to leave behind! Also on offer were a variety of key rings and other woven articles.

What we can learn from the Bedu

• It doesn’t matter if you don’t speak the language, you can communicate your meaning with smiles and gestures

• It gives everyone great pleasure to receive a genuine welcome on arrival, anytime, anywhere

• Share your passions with enthusiasm, and visitors may be persuaded to buy into the idea or even part with hard earned cash to enjoy a share of the action

• Self sufficiency is a noble aim

• Material possessions and status symbols have no place in a desert

• At night, with no electricity or light pollution, you can see the most amazing number of stars

Have you had an encounter or experience that changed your attitude to life? Do tell me about it or comment below.

Did you enjoy reading this post? Virtual Viv could write for you. I  also help or teach people  how to market a tourism business online or offline. Comment about what I’ve written below, or contact me at Manifold Associates.

Until next time…

Dress Code: a way to win friends, or influence people?

Do dress codes make sense?

This week’s news that people dressed in pyjamas have been banned from Tesco in South Wales, set me thinking about the value, or otherwise, to hospitality businesses of publicising dress codes. We live in a much less formal society in the 21st century.

Personally speaking I wouldn’t dream of visiting the supermarket or anywhere outside my home dressed in pyjamas. It appears however, that a small minority of people have no idea that the way you dress can cause offence, and that  a small minority of people don’t care about the effect of their bare torso, or the slogan on their t shirt, on the sensibilities of their fellow human beings.

Whatever happened to the old adage  ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans do‘.  Experience suggests that when abroad, or when faced with people from other cultural traditions, one must take care, and this is usually a safe strategy.

I’m not sure if there’s been an effect on the standard of dress by patrons of Tesco in Wales following their announcement. Although I realise it could be controversial, offering guidance on dress code  is something that I think can be helpful for patrons of hotels, restaurants, places of entertainment, or attendees of important social occasions. It applies   particularly when fine dining restaurants are involved; and it’s especially important for people hosting functions, banquets or other special events in premises where other members of the public are in evidence, to be upfront in communicating what’s expected.

Consequences of ignorance

If a business is prepared to bear the cost of security staff, to back up enforcement of dress code, people who in many instances have paid hansomely for entrance, can  get turned away. It famously seems to be reported in the media every year at events such as the Henley Royal Regatta (Stewards Enclosure) , or Royal Ascot (Royal Enclosure), where the dress codes are both specific and prescriptive concerning what’s permitted. Incidentally I’m sure it’s far better from a PR point of view, if those affected are quietly helped behind the scenes to make the necessary adjustments or changes to their appearance, rather than being excluded; and I’m sure that that’s what usually happens in the majority of cases.  Without enforcement, however, it’s always possible that some people could get offended.

In such circumstances confrontation might be a consequence of inappropriate dress.  So it’s often helpful if hosts, or event organisers, offer proactive written ‘guidance’ about what’s expected; because it helps guests avoid being embarrassed in company by their outfit, or getting offended by that of a fellow guest. Sometimes pictures on websites and in advertisements, illustrate the point, support the message, and are all that’s necessary. Good photography can be particularly helpful in this regard.

In general most people, especially overseas visitors,  like to conform to what they perceive to be ‘the norm‘, as was proved by John Sergeant’s experience, when presenting his recent Channel 4 series ‘On the Tourist Trail’ .  In one episode he took a party of female American visitors to be his guest at Royal Ascot. They had a lot of fun dressing up in the style of  ‘My Fair Lady’ (check out ‘Ascot Gavotte’ on You Tube),  and ‘playing at being posh’ ; but the programme showed them feeling uncomfortable and somewhat let down, when they spotted a small minority of racegoers in the grandstand not sporting similarly high sartorial standards. It’s always going to be important to manage peoples’ expectations carefully. It can be an uncomfortable, even embarrassing experience for people (and hosts) who have parted with a lot of cash and made a big effort to comply with dress code, only to see a minority visibly flouting the guidance with seeming impunity.

An invitation to participate in a formal event or a specialist active sport,  need not be a cause of grief to invitees due to the expense involved, either. I believe that it either is, or should be, easy and convenient for the hosts and/or organisers of events to volonteer to provide guidance and offer to make an introduction if necessary. (both for men and women) to suppliers who can hire out whatever’s necessary, from hats and dresses, to a sari or a black tie outfit, morning dress, or active sportswear, such as riding kit or wet suits.

Case study

Graham Grose, Managing Director of  the Thurlestone Hotel, south Devon, understands the issue better than most. Writing in the autumn newsletter, while admitting that it needs ‘careful management’ in view of the increasing trend towards last minute bookings, he refers to the  enforcement of dress code in the hotel’s fine dining restaurant as being ‘one of the trickiest problems we have to deal with’.

The management team at Thurlestone have been working on procedures to try and ensure that even late booking clients are made aware of this particular restaurant’ s strict ‘jacket and tie policy at dinner: ‘ We request that gentlemen wear a jacket, although the majority choose to wear a tie as well. Some guests, however prefer to dress more informally, and a theme … (running through online comment about Thurlestone) is that this dress code somehow makes us ‘old fashioned’ and ‘fuddy duddy’. On the other hand our feedback … is that this is a minority view and that most of you consider dinner in the Margaret Amelia restaurant to be a traditional ‘fine dining’ experience with appropriate attire an integral part of the experience. It is a matter of courtesy toward fellow diners, especially the ladies, and, unlike some other hotels we have no intention of relaxing our dress code’.

Sources of information about etiquette and dress code

For further information abou etiquette and dress code on important social occasions and events in Britain, Debretts is one of the  definitive sources. They even have a blog ‘Miss Debrett’ on the subject. For guidance and information about the meaning of the plethora of different dress codes, many of American origin, that now appear on invitations from ‘contemporary business casual’  and ‘creative black tie’  to  ‘smart casual’  simply Google ‘dress code’, and you’ll soon find the answer on a number of websites that appear in the results. No-one is ever offended if you ask what’s appropriate.

Let me know what you think about the subject!

Until next week…