Dress Code: a way to win friends, or influence people?

Do dress codes make sense?

This week’s news that people dressed in pyjamas have been banned from Tesco in South Wales, set me thinking about the value, or otherwise, to hospitality businesses of publicising dress codes. We live in a much less formal society in the 21st century.

Personally speaking I wouldn’t dream of visiting the supermarket or anywhere outside my home dressed in pyjamas. It appears however, that a small minority of people have no idea that the way you dress can cause offence, and that  a small minority of people don’t care about the effect of their bare torso, or the slogan on their t shirt, on the sensibilities of their fellow human beings.

Whatever happened to the old adage  ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans do‘.  Experience suggests that when abroad, or when faced with people from other cultural traditions, one must take care, and this is usually a safe strategy.

I’m not sure if there’s been an effect on the standard of dress by patrons of Tesco in Wales following their announcement. Although I realise it could be controversial, offering guidance on dress code  is something that I think can be helpful for patrons of hotels, restaurants, places of entertainment, or attendees of important social occasions. It applies   particularly when fine dining restaurants are involved; and it’s especially important for people hosting functions, banquets or other special events in premises where other members of the public are in evidence, to be upfront in communicating what’s expected.

Consequences of ignorance

If a business is prepared to bear the cost of security staff, to back up enforcement of dress code, people who in many instances have paid hansomely for entrance, can  get turned away. It famously seems to be reported in the media every year at events such as the Henley Royal Regatta (Stewards Enclosure) , or Royal Ascot (Royal Enclosure), where the dress codes are both specific and prescriptive concerning what’s permitted. Incidentally I’m sure it’s far better from a PR point of view, if those affected are quietly helped behind the scenes to make the necessary adjustments or changes to their appearance, rather than being excluded; and I’m sure that that’s what usually happens in the majority of cases.  Without enforcement, however, it’s always possible that some people could get offended.

In such circumstances confrontation might be a consequence of inappropriate dress.  So it’s often helpful if hosts, or event organisers, offer proactive written ‘guidance’ about what’s expected; because it helps guests avoid being embarrassed in company by their outfit, or getting offended by that of a fellow guest. Sometimes pictures on websites and in advertisements, illustrate the point, support the message, and are all that’s necessary. Good photography can be particularly helpful in this regard.

In general most people, especially overseas visitors,  like to conform to what they perceive to be ‘the norm‘, as was proved by John Sergeant’s experience, when presenting his recent Channel 4 series ‘On the Tourist Trail’ .  In one episode he took a party of female American visitors to be his guest at Royal Ascot. They had a lot of fun dressing up in the style of  ‘My Fair Lady’ (check out ‘Ascot Gavotte’ on You Tube),  and ‘playing at being posh’ ; but the programme showed them feeling uncomfortable and somewhat let down, when they spotted a small minority of racegoers in the grandstand not sporting similarly high sartorial standards. It’s always going to be important to manage peoples’ expectations carefully. It can be an uncomfortable, even embarrassing experience for people (and hosts) who have parted with a lot of cash and made a big effort to comply with dress code, only to see a minority visibly flouting the guidance with seeming impunity.

An invitation to participate in a formal event or a specialist active sport,  need not be a cause of grief to invitees due to the expense involved, either. I believe that it either is, or should be, easy and convenient for the hosts and/or organisers of events to volonteer to provide guidance and offer to make an introduction if necessary. (both for men and women) to suppliers who can hire out whatever’s necessary, from hats and dresses, to a sari or a black tie outfit, morning dress, or active sportswear, such as riding kit or wet suits.

Case study

Graham Grose, Managing Director of  the Thurlestone Hotel, south Devon, understands the issue better than most. Writing in the autumn newsletter, while admitting that it needs ‘careful management’ in view of the increasing trend towards last minute bookings, he refers to the  enforcement of dress code in the hotel’s fine dining restaurant as being ‘one of the trickiest problems we have to deal with’.

The management team at Thurlestone have been working on procedures to try and ensure that even late booking clients are made aware of this particular restaurant’ s strict ‘jacket and tie policy at dinner: ‘ We request that gentlemen wear a jacket, although the majority choose to wear a tie as well. Some guests, however prefer to dress more informally, and a theme … (running through online comment about Thurlestone) is that this dress code somehow makes us ‘old fashioned’ and ‘fuddy duddy’. On the other hand our feedback … is that this is a minority view and that most of you consider dinner in the Margaret Amelia restaurant to be a traditional ‘fine dining’ experience with appropriate attire an integral part of the experience. It is a matter of courtesy toward fellow diners, especially the ladies, and, unlike some other hotels we have no intention of relaxing our dress code’.

Sources of information about etiquette and dress code

For further information abou etiquette and dress code on important social occasions and events in Britain, Debretts is one of the  definitive sources. They even have a blog ‘Miss Debrett’ on the subject. For guidance and information about the meaning of the plethora of different dress codes, many of American origin, that now appear on invitations from ‘contemporary business casual’  and ‘creative black tie’  to  ‘smart casual’  simply Google ‘dress code’, and you’ll soon find the answer on a number of websites that appear in the results. No-one is ever offended if you ask what’s appropriate.

Let me know what you think about the subject!

Until next week…

How to avoid being consigned to Alaska

Defining Alaska

No restaurant owner likes to see empty tables; but it’s a fact that everywhere in the world there are more and less popular zones, or even individual tables, in restaurants.  In the States, where they always seem to have a name for everything, they deem the unpopular areas of a restaurant  ‘Alaska’ or alternatively ‘Siberia’.  It’s the cold place, where customers prefer not to be seated, and where waiting staff have to work harder to please people. As I watched comings and goings in various styles of restaurants while travelling over the past few weeks, on occasion dining alone, sometimes accompanied by my family, and sometimes as part of a large group. In many places I’ve noticed how conflict can occur.

The causes  of Alaska

One difficulty for everyone is that ‘Alaska’ in general can move around.  It moves seasonally, with outdoor terraces  of hotels and cafes busiest in summer, a time when people often prefer not to be inside. The very same places can be almost unrecognisable in winter, a time when terraces are almost invisible, but candlelit interiors and even cellars, are more cosy and inviting. Alaska can also move with the time of day and clientele. City restaurants may be busy with business people at lunchtimes, or even breakfast, if they open, but can be hard to fill in the evening, when they can lack atmosphere. Few people enjoy dining in an empty restaurant, and everyone likes to have a good table; but it’s just not always possible, especially in the most popular places.

Generally speaking, there are six issues which can give rise to ‘Alaska’ :

• relative temperature (cold, heat or humidity)
• draught,
• noise and traffic flow
• table layout
• perceived inferior view
• perceived inferior position

Alaska can be created by a single one,  or a combination of  any of these factors compared to other tables in the same restaurant.  Each has the potential to cause discomfort to guests on affected tables. The important thing is for all staff in affected restaurants to be aware of the problem, and to put counter strategies in place if at all possible.

How do you solve a problem like Alaska?

In some cases action can be taken. Temporary Alaska can be caused in any area of a restaurant adjacent to a large table set up for a group, usually due to concerns about noise.  Such tables can be screened from other guests;  or adjacent tables booked  with earlier arrival times to minimise exposure to noise, which often increases as the evening progresses.

Restaurant staff should already be aware of airflows and most try to avoid locating tables in an obvious draught or immediately next to open fires, heaters and doors.  Such sites, and others on the route of high traffic flows, will almost certainly prove to be unpopular Alaska zones.

I don’t envy the task of the maitre d’, host or whoever takes responsibility for table allocation in popular fine dining restaurants.  The problem of tables unpopular because they have an inferior view or position,  whether perceived or actual, can be the most difficult of all for customers and staff to handle.  Many guests now check user generated reviews on websites in the hope of discovering tips about tables to avoid in popular places.

The policy of ‘first come first served’ may work in informal restaurants with high turnover; but not in fine dining restaurants, or in resort hotels, where the table may be allocated for the duration of a lengthy stay, and its location is therefore more crucial in the eyes of the guest. I haven’t seen a queue at  restaurant opening time since the earliest days of Mediterranean package holidays! An undignified rush to bag the best table, at least, now seems to be prevented by the simple intervention of a greeter or maitre d’,  and a polite request to wait for a table assignment, at a desk near the entrance.

A solution to our chilly experience

When our family stayed at the Thurlestone Hotel in Devon during our ‘staycation’ this summer, the Alaska issue was handled in an exemplary way. I imagine that, like many guests entering the Margaret Amelia restaurant, we hoped to be allocated a window table (around 25% of the total available), and we had actually requested one specifically in advance, although we had booked our stay at fairly short notice. We were politely informed that we had been allocated a table in the second row back from the window, but that they would ‘see what they could do’ to get us a window table during our stay. In fact we were kept fully informed each day, and finally moved to one on the last evening of our three night stay, for which we were appropriately grateful.

The whole question of how to get a good table in a restaurant is also covered by many online blogs and forums including the Epi-log on Epicurious.com, so I won’t go into more detail here. Suffice it for me to say that if you are entertaining someone on an important occasion, you probably owe it to your guest(s) to make every effort to avoid Alaska!

Until next week…